Lies Not Dreams.

I desperately wanted to be the exception. I desperately wanted to be the odd case. It wasn't so. It isn't so.

There's a line in a song that says: 'Cry. Until the soul has been moved. To let it all out'.

Crying didn't do anything for me. My soul wasn't hurt, my heart wasn't touched, my ego on the other hand, has been bruised badly.

I knew it from the beginning. I knew there was nothing special about him. I convinced myself that there was. I convinced myself that there was something about him I should take in. I opened my doors, I let him walk around, I showed him the way.

None of it is on him. I knew better. It's on me, for living in a dream.

'It aint easy to ignore
when your shutters are open all the way
when it's candlelight I see I go insane
distant silhouette somehow
we shared a cigarette somewhere
addict till it falls, falls, falls.

Always and forevermore
I call to say I'm on the way
2000 years remain in the trashcan
let burn the cigarette somewhere
ashes till it falls, falls, falls.'
- Rome, Phoenix

*Currently listening to Girlfriend by Phoenix*