He was tall; his body was lean and defined, the kind of body that is simply that way. He had a beautiful smile. My parents were out of town visiting our old country home and I was home alone.
He asked if he could spend the night with me. He was leaving the country the next day, for a year, to live as an exchange student. I said yes. I knew what was coming. He followed me to my room and we undressed. It all lasted about 10 minutes. He was gentle but diligent in his conquest. I didn’t climax. He said it was wonderful. I thought: ‘Gee, sex is overrated’.
The next times were much better. It didn’t happen until months later with the boy who was to become my first boyfriend. Now that I look back, the sex wasn’t mind-blowing, we were both inexperienced (I more than him) and we had few moments for ourselves. We were creative though and it was exciting. It was fantastic, not mind blowing but fantastic nonetheless. He was also the first man I ever loved. It was so right.
I haven’t had too many lovers but numbers are relative when it comes to this, I know. I’m far more liberal at sharing kisses than sharing the whole package. Whatever works, right? This has worked for me.
Down the line, there have been great experiences and bland ones. Some I remember vividly. I’ve said to myself, ‘Wow, this is fucking amazing’. I’ve discovered that I love sex. I’ve discovered what my body can feel. I’ve also learned the difference between sex with love and loveless desire. I can say I’ve liked and enjoyed both. Love and sex don’t live together but they visit each other sometimes…
The best thing here: I’m barely turning 30, and this is supposed to be when it all gets better! Better! Since it’s all been so good this far, I’m really excited about EVEN better!
*Currently listening to Blue by We Are Wolves*
Benjamin Franklin wrote much the same in Poor Richards Almanac. 'Advice to a young man'.
ReplyDeleteMy first was with a catholic girl - we were pretty much together constantly , banging each other whenever we could. As my luck would have it she was into light kink.
you could even call it pop kink.
Turner, when will you just let my love for pop kink be?
ReplyDeleteCaballo. :)
I
ReplyDeleteam thinking its a sign
that the freckles in our eyes
are mirror images
and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
and I
have to speculate
that god himself
did make us into corresponding
shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay
and true
it may seem like a stretch
but its thoughts like these
that catch my troubled head
when you're away and I am
missing you to death
they will see us waiting from such great heights
come down now
they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
come down now
but
we'll stay