When I Grew...

I have to stop myself. My way isn't the only way. There are different routes to take to get to the same place. Relax.

I must admit that I can be a little controlling sometimes. I get carried away and I'll jump on the first train of emotion to come my way and stubbornly ride it 'till there's no turning back. That was the case yesterday. I was set on believing he doesn't care and I almost said 'screw that, go fuck yourself'. It turns out, that like on many other instance where this has happened, I just needed to stop, breathe, open my eyes and allow myself to see the different routes.

As the day progressed, and after I was smart enough to shut the dialog box down and move on with things, he sweetly and patiently messaged me throughout the day and soothed the erratic wilderness in my head. In the evening, he had plans, I had plans, but after our plans, he showed up at my door and the glow in the dark stars I had mentioned a million years ago, were with him, a surprise, for me.

Sweetness moves at its own pace and I just need to let it be. And this doesn't mean that he and I are meant to be, or that he loves me, or that I'm the only person he wants to be with. But he cares and he's there and that's enough... For now.

Speaking of what I want

Speaking of what I need

I don't want anything

Speaking of what I have

Speaking of what I lack

I don't need anything

- Young Man

*Currently listening to Just A Growin' by Young Man*