Slowly As I Move Along.

The days start moving slowly yet nothing is really slowing down. The leaves are falling off the trees but none of them are naked yet. I miss you today.

Some things I have forgotten. Some remain clear, like the methodical way you handled the newspaper as you read it in the mornings, accompanied by black coffee and sometimes a cigarette; and the way you played music loudly, always high on the volume, 'so that the soul can feel it', as you used to say.

I thought I heard you today, I adjusted the frequency and it wasn't you, there was no sound at all. I wish I had cried more, but how could I have shed any tears when I lacked sadness? I missed you even when you were around, it had become a part of us. Being distant was the only way to avoid the pain from what we knew would come.

I didn't miss your birthday this year. In the shower, as the water drenched me, I sang a little happy birthday for you. I would have had the perfect present. There is so much that you still needed to see.

You would have liked this new place. You would have liked this new chance. I should have tried harder.

I'm not sure where you are. Death is nothing that I think of often. All I know is that I miss you today. Every bit of me misses you and I can't help but wonder if I could have changed your fate, me, your favorite one.

Besitos y abrazos. Te Adoro con todo mi Corazon.

*Currently listening to Girl from Ipanema by Astrud Gilberto*