We May Seem Fucked Up.

Somebody asked me yesterday why I stay with him after all the times he's done me wrong. My answer was quite pathetic, but true: Whenever I'm with him time stops and everything else disappears. I can't walk away from it.

We've been dysfunctional, him, with his lies and his fear and his poor decision making, I, with my inability to move away from situations I shouldn't put myself through. We may continue to be dysfunctional, but I must confess that the more we talk about it and the more we spend time together and the more we pick at each other's heads trying to understand things, the more I believe it could actually work.

I've never felt this way. It's blown me away, moved me from the place where I stood sturdy and planted, changed the way I see things, for good and for bad. It's change the way I view being in love. I had never been in love, I had cared deeply, I had loved, but I had never fallen.

I read something today, 'we should be standing in love, not falling in love; we should be made better, not completed'. I've fallen in love and now I want to stand and walk side by side with him... If it works, it works, if it doesn't, I hope to be strong enough to move on, at least I'll know I gave it a fair chance.

He smiles and I melt.

Who cares... Who cares what it may seem like, who cares that it may be difficult at times. We're going to do this. We're going to try to be as normal as possible, we're going to try to make it work.

As he says: It's him and I against the world now...

World: You better be ready for this.

Embrace the chaos and life may surprise you.
- Hot Tub Time Machine

No more lies, this isn't a marketing scheme

*Currently listening to One Life Stand by Hot Chip*