Better. But Not There Yet.

Today, I could listen to the songs I wanted to without bursting into tears. That's a start. I did feel like it may happen, like the tears may surprise me with a stream of sadness and I was content to find I was considerably okay.

I'm not sure at what point it happened. I didn't see it coming. I don't feel like I've been fucked over, I'm not upset, I'm not disappointed, I'm not hoping for anything to change, I just feel very sad.

Disdain would be better but I have nothing to feel contempt for.

Tomorrow will be better and eventually I'll go back to being the same: The cold-hearted bitch that doesn't give a fuck. I'm not sure if that's a better version of me but at least I'll be alright.

Some surprises come in sweet and turn bitter, some come in bitter and never change. This one wasn't bad, I just want for it to lose its taste.



*Currently listening to When I'm With You by Best Coast*