Blue. Very Blue.

I thought that maybe if I was sweet and patient that would make a difference. I was told to communicate how I felt every step of the way, that was advice given to me by a dear friend, she said ‘he can’t read your mind so always tell him how you feel’. I did.

I told him how I felt every step of the way.

I backed up when I felt like he might need some space. I was there when it felt like he might need a friend. I gave it my best.

This doesn’t happen often. I’m used to taking and not giving until I feel safe. He never made me feel safe but I wanted him anyway. I wanted him deeply.

I also knew this day would come. When enough should be enough. I didn’t ask for much, but nothing is not acceptable, not when I have given so much.

I thought but I was wrong. Blue doesn’t suit me and I can’t see clearly with all these tears in the way.

Blue, please turn yellow, like the sun, missing on this dark, gloomy day.



*Currently listening to Love Me or Leave Me by Billie Holiday*