Today's Pie.

I could never be a waitress. If I close my eyes and picture it, I see flying plates and spilled drinks. I see unhappy customers, I see a mess.

I hope to be brave. If I prayed, I would pray for courage. Having love is not the same as being loved. I'd rather love.

'I don't expect much, give much, I don't get much. I generally enjoy whatever comes up. That's my truth, I am happy enough". - Cal, Waitress (the film)*

Is being happy enough, enough? Of course not. I suspect that 'barely happy' creeps up on us, why would anyone choose it? I suspect one day, we wake up and realize that our happiness is not real, that there must be more, that the feeling of fulfillment we once felt isn't there anymore, not even vaguely. I suspect we fool ourselves because reality is so damn sad. I suspect we lie to ourselves because we're scared, because we wonder if half-happy is better than being miserable while finding something else. In translation, the condition becomes cowardice. I am a coward.

*Currently listening to Time to Pretend, MGMT*

*Thanks Turner.