Time To Move On...

My random thoughts will be moving to another blog. I love this one but I feel like I need a fresh start. There was too much going on here.

If you'd like to follow, please shoot me an email and I will reply with the new url.

I'm ready for the fun times. Are you?

     

 This one goes out to someone real special ;)

One Step At A Time

I guess it all starts with knowing what you want. Half of the time I don't really know what it is, but I do know my life needs a change.

I want to travel. I want to go to New York and Chicago and Boston and New Orleans and Seattle. I want to visit Costa Rica and Argentina and Cuba. I want to spend a month in Europe, hopping between countries, staying at small hotels, eating everywhere, smiling a lot. I want to go to Thailand, and Japan, and Australia...

I want to move to New York. I love Los Angeles but I think I need a change. I need to walk the streets of Manhattan and surround myself by the hundreds of people that walk such streets every day.

I want an apartment in Miami, I want an apartment in New York and I want to spend a month in Colombia during the holidays every year.

I want BluShoppe to become something already. I have neglected BluShoppe and it was my baby. I need to get back on track.

I want to own a Cafe and a Boutique and in the office I'll run all my BluShoppe affairs. I'll work hard and be so happy to see that my businesses are successful and I've done it for myself.

I want to buy a new beach cruiser and go to the beach to ride my bike every weekend like I used to do. My ipod, my bike, the ocean breeze and me.

I want to be in a happy relationship. I do want a partner. I want someone who will adore me. I want someone who will listen and who will always be honest. He will love my pets but not have any of his own, he must love music, he must love food and exploring new things and traveling and he will be dedicated and positive and healthy and handsome...

I'm working on this list of what I want... I want to be blissfully happy.

 

I'm going on vacation... :)

*Currently listening to Intuition by Feist*

What You Got For Me?

Somebody said to me: 'Looking at things in a practical way, it makes no sense for you to be hung up on him at all. He didn't give you what you wanted emotionally, romantically or physically, he made you sad and according to you, he never cared. You may not be able to get it all from someone else immediately, but you know there are guys who want to be with you in one way or another... So being practical, the route to take would be to move on and meet your needs elsewhere.'

Yeah... My emotions aren't practical at all... But maybe it's time to give practicality a chance. 

I want to have some fun. At least that, for now.

*Currently listening to Leave House by Caribou*

Cook That Smile Up

My mood is tied to everything, to my desire to cook, to my choice in music, to what I feel like doing...

In the last couple of days, my mind has been exploding with recipes I want to try out. I want to cook up a storm and have my friends over for lunches and dinners... There's a summer salad recipe, a barbecue pulled pork recipe, a roulade, spicy grilled corn salad... So many possibilities.

When I'm feeling happy, I want to cook! I want to get in the kitchen and make a delicious mess and open a bottle of wine and chat with my guests while I chop away!

It's the summer time and life is starting to look sunny again! Time to do some cooking!

*Currently listening to The High Road by Broken Bells*

Hello, I'm Little Magnificent.

It has finally happened.

I think it's too soon to say I'm over him. That's definitely not the case. And perhaps it would be premature to state that the memories of him wont make me sad ever again... They probably will. After-all, he made me feel rejected, insecure, used, sometimes even ridiculous... But now I can also look back and see that there was a lot of good too... There were times when he was so tender it would melt my heart, times when he was so passionate it would light me up on fire, times when he was so involved I thought it would all work out...

The beauty of it all is that it was what it had to be and I'm finally letting go. I feel good. I feel good with myself. I feel good about the future.

Today, I have smiled all day. I have the urgent desire to do things for myself, things that will make me happy, to once again be involved and star in this extraordinary film, my life.

I was lost and now I'm found. It's not too soon to say that. It's not too soon to feel happiness again. And this happiness has not stemmed from him, it's all mine, a little ray of sunshine beaming strongly, working its way to fill me up once more... I can feel the void in me slowly disapearing, it's being filled with self-love, I can feel myself coming into place again... I know it's going to take some time for me to heal completely but I'm happy, I can truly say I'm happy. It IS going to be okay... For a while there I didn't believe it...

My heart is not dead. I am alive! ♥

The Irony...

*Currently listening to Dead Hearts by Stars*

No More Counting

I'm just wondering at what point it gets better... At what point will my thoughts be free of him? When will the pain just go away?

It has been 13 days since I decided to leave him but only 1 since the decision was a complete reality... I had still been holding on to some hope... While we were together, I thought my love would be enough for both of us... When we were apart, I still thought my love would be enough for both of us.. It never was.

I don't want anything else but to be me again... I want to erase him. I want to not miss him. I want to think that it wasn't me.

 Flowers are like relationships, eventually, they die.

*Currently listening to Your Ex-lover Is Dead by Stars*